The problem most people have is not how to get what they want, but knowing what they want in the first place. There are a couple other exercises I’ll share too, but I found this particularly useful for clarifying my mind, and removing limitations.
Credit goes to Craig Kulyk, who recently shared this exercise on his website, creategoodmornings.com and in our conversation, https://www.nicholaspihl.com/craig-kulyk/ (Exercise Originally From Debbie Millman)
It’s quite simple, and I found it fun to do. Basically, you imagine a day in your best possible life 10 years in the future and write out everything about how that day unfolds. The key is in picturing all the details: the people around you, where you are living, how you spend your time, and your priorities.
It works, I think, because it breaks you out of the month-to-month, quarter-to-quarter, year-to-year type of incremental thinking that we often get stuck in. On this scale, we are tethered to the present and to past even when thinking about the future, and so we dwell on practicality (the dream-shrinker) rather than possibility (the dream maker). If you want to see some real potential, you need to imagine them on a timeframe where you can TRANSFORM! This isn’t easy for most people. The first time I went through this exercise, I caught myself a couple times thinking in terms of practicality rather than what I actually want. Odds are, your mind, like mine, is creating artificial limits for itself.
One last thing. Craig mentioned that Debbie recommended reviewing it once a year, because the people who did so often found that their dreams gave rise to reality. They actually achieved their dream.
I hope this exercise is as useful to you as it was to me. I definitely plan on revisiting it at least once a year. Before reading on, I encourage you to do the exercise on your own so you focus on what your dreams are, rather than on mine. It can take anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour or more. But the impact is absolutely incredible.
Here’s what a day in my best life looks like in 10 years:
I wake up at sunrise (meaning I sleep more in winter, and work more in summer) to cool, bright light all around me. I live in a home with many windows, surrounded by open space. I feel tranquil, yet energized about how I will spend my day.
When I wake up I stretch, have a glass of water, and give thanks for at least 3 things, one of which must be eternal. It is not merely a list, I feel the gratitude, and appreciate those things deeply. Then I ask the universe for help with one thing that I am working on in myself.
After that, I go exercise, doing sprints, swimming, or lifting weights. I play hurling once a week. After I work out, I write for about 40 minutes before making breakfast with the kids and getting them to school.
Next, I spend at most an hour connecting (email, voicemail, texts, whatever technology we’re using in the future), and checking on my practice to make sure everything is going well. Almost always, everything is calm and pleasant. There are no fires to put out because I have structured my life in such a way that minimizes the impact of emergencies and gives those around me the power to solve problems on their own. I do not spend time with emotionally or intellectually needy, pain-in-the-ass-type people.
I spend very little time on things that do not give me energy or joy. The next two hours until 11 am are spent on creative projects, whether writing, recording videos, making podcasts, or preparing for speaking engagements.
Starting around 11 am, I meet with my clients, usually seeing about 4 a day, until 4 pm. I have created systems that automate the clerical side of things (notes, billing, scheduling follow-up appointments). I am in pleasantly high demand, and my time is precious to me and others. I rarely have trouble filling open time-slots, but am content to read, study, meditate, or spend time with my kids when I have openings. I offer value to others in excess of 10x what they pay me, and make great income doing it.
I work from home or in an office very close to my home. The office is clean and open, full of natural light and vitality.
I am doing work I love, splitting my time between helping people individually and working on my own in privacy. In my solo time I am writing, researching, and thinking. I have a business or practice where I use knowledge and my own personal skills to help people. I spend a lot of time listening, asking questions, and can deliver powerful results for people in a concise way. I have written two books and am working on a third. They are related to my work, are entertaining, and give actionable insight that people can use.
I am home 5 nights a week and prioritize my relationships with my kids. They are happy, curious, self-directed and comfortable with who they are. Perhaps this is because they have a lot of freedom and responsibility for kids their age. I accept them they way they are and help them build on their strengths. I regularly and frequently offer them new experiences and cultivate their interests. I shift my schedule to fit Michelle’s nursing schedule. My days off align with hers, and we routinely pull the kids out of school to take them on educational adventures (the beach, the aquarium, the zoo, skiing, tennis, music lessons, museums, the library, hiking, even showing them what other people do for work…).
I am home 5 out of 7 nights to make dinner with the kids and spend time with them. One remaining night is for me and Michelle to have time to enjoy each other without work or kids. One is for me to recover so that I can be at my best. I need alone time to accomplish this. I prioritize Michelle and my relationship with her. It is important to me that she is living her best life too.
Financially, we are prosperous and fortunate. We are surrounded by natural beauty, bought cheaply. We are in a situation where we do not need to work for money, only for our own enjoyment and sense of purpose. We have recently begun buying stocks for the purpose of growing them and gifting them to the less fortunate. We use our financial resources very efficiently having grown wealthy through a combination of living simply and keeping our investable net worth high as a percentage of our total assets. In addition, I have refined my investing approach such that I can obtain very high returns relative to the market, and yet spend minimal time monitoring it. With rigorous thought, I have devised a largely-automated system that has made us, our friends, and our family a lot of money, without a negative emotional toll.
I love life, and find tremendous joy in helping others. I am improving people’s ability to contribute to the world, and have added 10s of millions of dollars in value to the world and have the desire and capacity to 10x that repeatedly throughout my life. I am still growing and engaging with new projects and challenges. I feel a strong purpose in my work, and my relationships are characterized by love and appreciation of the unique people around me.
Having described what a day in my best life looks like, I feel drawn to what will move me in that direction. Writing, podcasting, coaching, and, eventually speaking are good ways to connect with more people, learn at a rapid pace, and provide value to others. These activities both grow my own capabilities and give me the opportunity to deliver value to others. Along with that, I will just generally continue to work on myself and my understanding of life. Get deeper knowledge and experience, be more open, vulnerable, and honest. Share more delicious food. Have more fun, be personable.
I plan to keep sharing as I learn.