When threatened, most animals (humans included) have the same response: Fight, Flight, or Freeze. Fear pumps us full of adrenaline and primes us to fight/run/hide, whether or not the threat is real, or merits such an extreme response.
Fear is often stupid because it often has stupid consequences. It fractures a peaceful herd of antelope into a mob of panicky individuals, each running for its own life. They’ll stampede, and even trample one another in their fear. Fear rules them. Sadly for the antelopes, they don’t seem capable of transcending fear, as a species.
Humans aren’t that different. But we’re also a bit special because we don’t have to become a fractured mob of individuals. We don’t have to rely on that fear response.
We can ask for help.
Life works a lot better that way, because we don’t have to do it all by ourselves. In fact, the nature of our species is such that we often get worse results from working solo. We’re meant to rely on one another, to use our unique gifts to help others, and to let others help us according to their gifts.
The irony, of course, is that fear makes it harder to do that. Fear gives us tunnel vision and superhuman strength. We think we can do it all alone. We think we have to.
Fear amplifies our ego, with destructive consequences. This is because ego says some really delusional things.
“I am important and capable and in-charge.”
“I don’t need anyone.”
“I don’t need a connection with God.”
“Love is scarce and it earned. I am earning the most. This gives me status and security.”
This isn’t a good way to do life. Even if it worked out, it would still be lonely, stressful, and spiritually barren.
But the good news is that it doesn’t work. Eventually, the universe wears us out, breaks us, and humbles us.
This is for our own benefit. Without this process, we would resist turning into the person we were meant to be. While this transformation is threatening to our inflexible egos, it’s for the best. By dying to our old ways of life, and embracing new habits, we often become healthier, more loving, and happier.
The path and the destination are the same: a spiritual way of life. We free ourselves up to have close, loving relationships. We let ourselves feel loved, and love others in return. We let go of our need for control, resting comfortably in our faith that our higher power can provide for our needs better than we can. We have peace.
It’s not just that we’re happier living this way. Life is a lot more fun too. By letting go of the things that we aren’t meant to do, we allow others to share their gifts with us. And when we aren’t trying to do everything by ourselves we learn to make the most of our own gifts. We all become more special, more lovable, and more loving. Our communities become closer and more inter-dependent without requiring everyone to be the same.
Isn’t that a good way to live? I think so.